Russia’s Supreme and Glorious Leader is busy flattening Ukraine so he can be Lord of the Wasteland. There has been much puzzlement over South Africa’s refusal to condemn Vladimir Putin and over its abstention from the United Nations vote to censure the Great Dictator, so we asked around to get some insight into this state of affairs.
First we spoke to a senior official in the Department of International Relations, who wishes to remain anonymous out of pure embarrassment. We have disguised this official’s gender, race, colour and body-fat ratio so that they cannot be identified by any South African state security agents secretly working for the Russian Federal Security Service or for Jacob Zuma, which comes to the same thing.
“Well,” said the official who cannot be named, though we can say they were delicately sipping a cappuccino as they spoke, “first we have to pay attention to what the President says, which is that this is no time to be pointing fingers.
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